Koi Fish, Isolation, Dinosaurs, Insomnia, and Just the Ways of My Summer of July

10:23AM: 7/15/25

Already ate a breakfast made by my dad, an omelette with ham and cheese. My eyes seem open but my mind is not awake, at least not in the time I write these words. Yesterday, I spent the entire day designing a website in which I don’t know if the public will see it, unless I pay for the domain and maintenance, slight possibility of me doing. No morning coffee for me, since, there is no more coffee inside the coffee bin, therefore needing to buy more. I spent my night on a four hour phone call. Yes a four hour phone call of talking about Jurassic Park Rebirth, that my friend watched. HUGE DISCLAIMER, if you don’t want any spoilers skip ahead (para. 3).

Telling me in their opinion that everything was too easy for the characters and that they only showed the velociraptors once only to kill them off. There are also two mutant-thing dinosaurs and from my understanding the people were sent there to extract DNA samples to save humans. Is for what I understood in their explanations. I was excited to to watch it but now I don’t think I am going to buy tickets just to not enjoy a film.

Among the other things we talked about there was also a instance where we talked about “What of you were in an isolated room for a year?” meaning no contact with anyone and you would only have a companion (cat, dog, bear, lion, etc) but you would have to take care of it for a year and would be supplied with what it needs. This conversation got interesting when I told my friend, “What if we add ten people”, in which they responded, “We would need a whole facility for that, where did this come from?” I told my friend that the ten volunteers would have to compete for money. Immediately he said, “Squid Games!!” I have never watched the show but I have a basic understanding of it. In this hypothetical bubble of thought, I told them that these contestants would have a starting balance of 6,000 dollars. When they win first second, or third place their money is multiplied by the value of the placing. Fourth and Fifth places money is multiplied x1.

Those who loose the game, their balance is multiplied by a negative factor, which ended up being -3. It was intriguing when how would the contestants be eliminated. How would they be given food? In which I proposed that their food is given BUT if they wish to add something like seasoning, it would be a 3.5% from their balance. My friend said that could actually be impossible since their remaining balance would be to low to survive, then we changed it to 2.5%. They would still be isolated and most of the loops have not been figured out after all this was hypothetical deriving from a earlier conversation of one person, me in an isolation room hosted by my friend. I found this really intriguing to be honest.

Passing on to that I feel asleep and woke up today early to go to the gym and train. I have a really bad habit of…going to sleep very late, unreasonably late. I do not know if it’s a habit or it’s just that I cannot sleep in general since my thoughts distract me and keep me awake. I usually read and write and during the day I take intervals of naps, so yes I am tired looking like a zombie still writing. I started to work on a painting with Koi Fish, a pond, a flower, and butterflies. The main center of this piece are the Koi fish with little bright elements adding more variety that just fish with a blue background. I started this piece on Sunday, working on it still today. Yesterday I painted the base of the Koi Fish white, and since they have shades of orange, red, and some are just yellow or just black I want to capture how beautiful these are. I painted eight fish I think, varying in sizes and patterns.

The origin of japanese Koi fish are not Japan, but China, migrating to Japan. The name “koi” is the informal name given to the colored variant of the common carp. Rivals with the goldfish, coming from a long line of the common carp being domesticated n the 4th Century. Domesticating many types of Carp to be used as food. They started as single colored carps in Japan like, red, blue, yellow, and white. In the 1820s the people in Niigata Prefecture began breeding them for their looks. This became popular because it provided food for winter and a good side hustle for farmers. The fish has many different symbolic meanings being treasured, specially in Japan they mean, perseverance, peace, tranquility, good fortune, and ambition. This is one of the reasons I took the liking into Koi fish. Not just because of their beauty but their significance to not only Japan but to other Asian countries as well. This is half my inspiration behind the painting, They other half is just curiosity to see butterflies with Koi fish.

Sorry for the rapid lesson, and for it being a little boring. Right now, I am writing my book, I am at 14, 067 words beginning to write Chapter Three. My deadline for it is October 10th to finish writing it. I do know about the rest but hopefully I can publish it this year as a Indie Author. September is to close around the corner and I don’t want to be stressed, but I still want to pressure myself and have that balance on a line. I miss riding horses, I haven ridden in a Month (June) and now July. Although I am training off the horse I still want to take classes and be ready for a competition. I still haven’t finished One Hundred Years of Solitude not that I have grown tired of it but I had to turn off my phone this morning and put it inside my drawer in order to not use it, not even for music like I usually do. I read a good amount of pages of One Hundred Years of Solitude, wrote 200 words, and called it a day in all modesty it did not look very productive to me. I don’t think I was proud of myself with not the most exciting topics of conversation. I went to sleep mid 11:30PM doing what? Reading, look at my ceiling for advice, and yes eventually scrolling which lead to the events of Wednesday.

7/16/25: 8:42AM - 8:50AM

When Wednesday came I was dead. Dead in the way that I find myself not wanting to talk to anyone. Wanting to only sleep from all the sleepless weeks i’ve had recently. Write only but a few words, but I did begin scrolling, first a thought and then my fingers began itching for my phone. Posting random stop, stupid stuff when people put questions I answer them, when I said I was going to be off instagram. Little bit of a hypocrisy at least how I see it and yet I try to not look at my phone but it ends up being useless. But, there is a perfect solution to every problem and that is, a pocket phone which doesn’t really sound like a bad idea. We will see.

I sit at the dining table surrounded by my siblings each one working on their computers, as I unravel my thoughts to you. I have been yelled at, scolded, and given the few speeches of the day. Yes, if all parents had the opportunity to become presidents, then, they would be. I’m just taking my fingers on the computer’s keyboard since I am about to close my eyes an sleep. One of my sibling’s birthday is coming up tomorrow and I don’t know what we are doing if we are doing anything. This week I am not having horse riding lessons, since we came back from trips, so next week are horse riding classes. Right now I am going to tr to get some proper form of sleep at 8:47AM but it’s worth a try, is it not?

9:55PM: 7/16/25

As I get ready to go to sleep, early for once. Shutting down my phone. I took two naps today in which my mother criticized me for not going to sleep early. I give me the points for that to be honest, I am grateful for the scolding. I cleaned my room today rearranged some things here and there, books, clothing, and washing. That took me at least two hours to clean and I enjoyed the process, as soon as I was finished, I fell asleep to wake up in a rush to drive my brother to his martial arts class. He did well, we ate pizza, and at the end I helped rearranged the chairs and pick up some of the trash, since I wanted to help out therefore we got home maybe twenty minutes ago. I walked to the mail there was nothing interesting other that grocery shopping discounts and furniture sales. From these three days I have learned that sleep, commitment, and the grind of life are always with yourself. If you have goals no one is going to tell you to do them. you have to out yourself to the task if you really are passionate for what you want. We dictate with our choices, emotions, and even conversations at the beginning of our day affect the whole mood throughout our day.

What did I accomplish today?

• Read, not finish One Hundred Years of Solitude but almost there.

• Write, my book is at 14,373 words.

• Worldbuilding ideas for my book in a journal.

• Sleep. Rest. Eat.

• Gym for at least an hour of the morning waking up early (even tho I struggle).

• Help someone out because I just felt the need to help.

See you next time,

SMS