June: A Little Problem

So, maybe I should go for a walk in the park and get the mail. Maybe I should go read a good two hours and see if I can finish the book I’m reading. Wait, no, maybe I should go and attend the many unattended things in my very long to-do list. But here I am, writing to you at this moment, and I want to keep it that way. I want to write to you because I have to get this off my chest, and you are perhaps my best option at the moment. It makes me think and breathe. Relax a little. An honest space. But how are you? How did your week go? Are you catching up on those last pages of your book? Writing any words today? I woke up rather late, since I walked all day yesterday taking pictures for a sports event, which went well. I got to help everyone and talk to a few people here and there.

I haven’t written a single word in my current novel, which is still at 8,279 words. I know that’s not nothing, but it feels like I’m throwing together scenes without any possible sense. It’s all rushed, and I don’t want it to feel like a rush. I’m not letting my characters breathe; instead, I’m drowning them, and I noticed that on Thursday. That’s what I’m trying to develop right now. In writing, it’s about everything that happens in between. The quiet. The awkward. The small. The little things that lead up to the big reveals. The big, main part of the story.

If you’re a writer reading this, then let it be known that you aren’t alone in this. I’m going through my second–third draft, and I noticed that in my first draft I also developed way too quickly and way too randomly. That was when I was twelve. Now that I’m way older, I am looking for advice in books and from the people I know to see if they can help me out a little. As I’m trying to unscramble the scrambled pieces of this puzzle, I am very reminded that words from the heart, mind, and love always are the best for someone else. I am also reminded that if writing were so easy, then everyone would do it. And oftentimes, I think we are underestimated or undervalued no matter if you’re a New York Times Bestselling Author, a Pulitzer Prize Winner, a Big Indie Author, or perhaps like me, a small writer who is stepping into the way of an author. We all have versions, truths, and even things to bring to our audience.

Let it be that our power can both be used for good and bad. Always, there is a positive to a negative, a contradiction to the contradictory. Does neutral exist? Very slightly. I admire the works of the great writers of all ages, times, and centuries, and that’s what has been keeping me motivated to write my own book. My own little universe and world. Inspired by many different things at the same time that I’m just starting to doubt myself just slightly, but I want to keep on going and just think about how I can make this into something original, unique, something incomparable. Right, I don’t know if that will happen, but I’m willing to try and read more than I should to learn. Thank you, dear reader, for helping me a little with how to develop this into something bigger, greater, something that I do have to take a LOOONG time to muster in even more words.

Enjoy your weekend.

Thank you,
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